The Best Two Words

Last week, our 5 year old and I had a rough morning. Miss H often spends time in her own little wonderland, and this can make getting ready for school sometimes stressful. After 30 (!!!) minutes to eat one slice of toast and a pear, repeated requests to get dressed, brush teeth, hair,etc. I came out after getting myself dressed to find that adorable girl singing and playing in her room. No socks and shoes, hair and teeth unbrushed. We had 12 minutes until school started. And the car's battery had died (thanks to an unshut door all night...). I freaked out a bit. Okay, maybe a lot. I yelled. Pretty loud, too. I quickly got H ready, all while expressing my displeasure with her behavior and not being too gentle with that hair of hers. Needless to say, neither of us were in too happy a mood as we left to jog the half mile to the school. (and I, 9 mos prego, was really not happy)

I tried to lighten the mood a bit as we hurried along, not wanting H to go to school with mom yelling at her as her freshest memory. I wasn't very good at it, but I tried. It took me the whole 6 minute walk(jog) to get the frustration out of my system. As we neared the Kindergarten play yard (with time to spare!!), the regret for my behavior really began to set in. I pulled that cute little girl aside, knelt down and looked into those amazing brown eyes and told her that, while we needed to work on getting ready faster in the mornings, I was very sorry for getting so upset and that I shouldn't have yelled. I told her that I still loved her more than anything, even though I sometimes get upset.

Then Miss H wrapped her little arms around me and in my ear I heard what, at that moment, to me, were the two best words in the whole wide world:

"I Know."

Then a quick kiss and off to the playground, but not without a wave and a "bye mom!".

As I walked home (at a slower pace) I felt so much lighter. All I could think about was that even though I am very far from being the perfect mom (many days it feels I am far from being a good mom), and I have a lot to work on, I must be doing something right...after all,

She Knows.

Just to remember

Something that I want to remember forever, but know I won't if I don't write it down:

This week our 5 year old, Miss H, named her two stuffed elephants. (her faves right now) The pink one is named Ellie and the gray bull elephant is named Moostard. No typo. " Like mustard only with oo, mom."

Love that kid.

Five {finally}

This past spring our little girl turned five. Maybe it is time you got to know little Miss H a little bit better. There is a song (I think it is Garth Brooks??) That goes, "She's sun and rain, She's fire and ice, a little crazy, but it's nice...and when she gets mad you best leave her alone...." I swear the person who wrote that song knew our Miss H in heaven. She is an exercise in extremes. Luckily for us, usually she spends her time in the extreme on the happy side. But, when she's on the other end, watch out. (We love her both ways)She is crazy and so funny (and she knows it) and loves to be the center of attention (usually). When she feels shy or nervous, she gets very silly. She loves to make people laugh and is pretty good at it, too.
Things she loves: Bananas with peanut butter, singing and dancing, Polly pockets, drawing, reading, her sister, berries, swimming, pretending, sushi, visiting the local botanical gardens, doing "projects" (anything involving tape, paper scissors, etc and a big mess) and saying "seriously." Almost everything she says is followed by, "Seriously, mom" (or whomever she is speaking to) eg. "Slug bug silver! Seriously, mom!"or, "Seriously, dad! Will you get my bike out?"Things she does NOT like: being interrupted. She will get mad at the interrupter, then start over from the very beginning of what she was saying... even if she only had one word left to say. Heights. Being too hot or too cold. Getting her hair done (yet she wants it long like Rapunzel). All bugs except Rollie polies and baby worms.

We love our miss H so very much! She brings so much spunk into our little family. I cannot imagine our family without her. She has such a big personality for such a little girl...she's been that way from the beginning, and we wouldn't change one thing about her! (except maybe the part where she doesn't like her hair done...)

On being tan

So, three weeks ago I got the first tan I have ever had in my life. It was spray on.

Let me explain:

I AM SO WHITE.

I have never been tan in my whole entire life. I have never "laid out" or done any other sun-worshipping type activities. I have had some nasty nasty sunburns (part of my misspent youth...) and they resulted in... a few moles that needed to be removed. They sat there mocking me from atop my pasty white skin. My two daughters often look at my arms and exclaim "look how white mom is!!!" As a kid, I was always the cream filling in the middle of my friends' dark tans (we'd make Oreo's with our arms...) I don't know how to make this clearer: I am really really really white.

I always thought it would be so great to be tan. I always felt (just a little) envious when we would visit my Husband's family and they all have this beautiful dark skin...and then I live with my hubby and kids and their beautiful skin. It was so not fair! I thought I would feel prettier, more confident (and maybe even sexier) if I were even just a *little* tan.

So, I took the plunge. With my sis there for moral support (and a tan of her own) I got a spray tan from my friend, who does them out of her home. She did a great job. But I didn't expect what followed.

The first thing my 5 year old said was, "Mommy, you look different and weird. I think you should go and wash that stuff off" to which my 8 yr old heartily agreed. I went to look in the mirror to see what they saw, and I looked fine, but I didn't feel like I was looking at me in the mirror. It was strange to look in the mirror and not feel like myself.

I didn't tell my husband what I did, and when he got home he said, "It looks nice, But I like your white skin" Hmmm. Not what I expected. It was the perfect answer, but it was not what I expected.

I enjoyed my week being tan. I really did. However, I did not feel any prettier than I did before. I didn't feel any more confident. (I felt just as sexy as always.) I guess what I learned from finally getting a tan is that I am okay with my skin. Being (really) white doesn't really bother me anymore. So, let others get a beautiful golden brown every summer. I will apply my SPF 70 and stay under a shade umbrella and stay (really) white. And I won't feel bad about it (anymore). I will no longer be envious.

Well, maybe just a little tiny bit...but not much.

Excuses

First off, the big news. It is a boy turtle in my tummy! We are very excited at our house. I am a little nervous. After 8 years of all girl stuff all the time, it is a bit weird to be thinking about boy stuff. It'll be a blast, though, and I am really looking forward to it.(except for the part where I will probably have to take my turn with the cub scouts. Ugh. Sorry, judge me if you will, but ugh.) The girls were hoping it would be a boy, so they are ecstatic as well. :)

Now, to my excuses for being MIA for so long.

1. I am still waiting for that burst of energy you are supposed to get around 4 months. I am almost 6 months now, and it hasn't shown up yet. Grrr. After about 1:30, I am pretty much useless. I am amazed I have made dinner as often as I have been. (almost every day!) Although, when I think of what those dinners have been, I feel pretty embarrassed. I have made it to my aerobics and yoga classes without fail, so that is one accomplishment I remind myself of when I look at the pile of ironing that is almost as tall as my 5 year old...

2. It is summer. That means swim lessons, dance lessons, hours and hours at the park, picnics at the Gardens, pony riding at the farm, visits to Grandma and Grandpa's house in ID, spending time with Uncle Russ who just got home from his mission (Yay!!!) and no time to sit on the computer and update my blog. I think this list of activities also contributes to reason #1 for being MIA.

I am trying to be better and update this thing more often, and even post pictures (for grandmas). You gotta have a little compassion for me, though. This little turtle is killing me off...:)

The Turtle in my tummy

There is a turtle in my tummy.

Yup, we are expecting! Due the first week in October.

At the first Dr.'s visit, the little Doppler couldn't pick up the heartbeat, so I got a quick ultrasound to make sure there really was something in there. Sure enough, there it was. I brought the pictures home to my husband who said, "looks like a turtle to me". From that moment on I have only thought of it as the turtle in there.

The next time I went to the Dr. he had the same trouble with finding the heartbeat... a lovely fibroid is sitting right in the way. (Apparently fibriods are "very common in women my age"...isn't getting older great? Waaa... I want my 20 year old uterus back!!) So, I got another ultrasound. It was confirmed the turtle in my tummy is not a turtle but a human. Here's proof:
As for those who wonder why I waited so long to tell, and why I did it on facebook (and then turned off my phone for the day)... It is hard for me to explain. I really hate to let go of our little secret. Once my Hubby knows, I don't want to tell anyone else. So, when the time came to let the cat out of the bag, I did it electronically. then kept to myself until I had gotten used to the idea that the news was general knowledge...weird, but I am a hormonal pregnant woman so I get to be nuts, right? (the answer s yes...)

My lunchtime conversation

Today, after making my five year old pancakes for breakfast (instead of the usual cold cereal), ignoring my project for work and playing littlest pet shop, after I didn't vacuum and did princess puzzles instead, we sat down to lunch (I even cut her PB&J with a heart cookie cutter for fun). After all that, this was our conversation:

"Mom?"
"What sweetie?"
"Do you know what my favorite days in the world are? They are Christmas, My birthday, Halloween, Easter, and the days Daddy gets to stay home so he can play with me."


Don't get me wrong, I like that playing with Daddy is so special to her...really, I do.


But, come on.