On being tan

So, three weeks ago I got the first tan I have ever had in my life. It was spray on.

Let me explain:

I AM SO WHITE.

I have never been tan in my whole entire life. I have never "laid out" or done any other sun-worshipping type activities. I have had some nasty nasty sunburns (part of my misspent youth...) and they resulted in... a few moles that needed to be removed. They sat there mocking me from atop my pasty white skin. My two daughters often look at my arms and exclaim "look how white mom is!!!" As a kid, I was always the cream filling in the middle of my friends' dark tans (we'd make Oreo's with our arms...) I don't know how to make this clearer: I am really really really white.

I always thought it would be so great to be tan. I always felt (just a little) envious when we would visit my Husband's family and they all have this beautiful dark skin...and then I live with my hubby and kids and their beautiful skin. It was so not fair! I thought I would feel prettier, more confident (and maybe even sexier) if I were even just a *little* tan.

So, I took the plunge. With my sis there for moral support (and a tan of her own) I got a spray tan from my friend, who does them out of her home. She did a great job. But I didn't expect what followed.

The first thing my 5 year old said was, "Mommy, you look different and weird. I think you should go and wash that stuff off" to which my 8 yr old heartily agreed. I went to look in the mirror to see what they saw, and I looked fine, but I didn't feel like I was looking at me in the mirror. It was strange to look in the mirror and not feel like myself.

I didn't tell my husband what I did, and when he got home he said, "It looks nice, But I like your white skin" Hmmm. Not what I expected. It was the perfect answer, but it was not what I expected.

I enjoyed my week being tan. I really did. However, I did not feel any prettier than I did before. I didn't feel any more confident. (I felt just as sexy as always.) I guess what I learned from finally getting a tan is that I am okay with my skin. Being (really) white doesn't really bother me anymore. So, let others get a beautiful golden brown every summer. I will apply my SPF 70 and stay under a shade umbrella and stay (really) white. And I won't feel bad about it (anymore). I will no longer be envious.

Well, maybe just a little tiny bit...but not much.

Excuses

First off, the big news. It is a boy turtle in my tummy! We are very excited at our house. I am a little nervous. After 8 years of all girl stuff all the time, it is a bit weird to be thinking about boy stuff. It'll be a blast, though, and I am really looking forward to it.(except for the part where I will probably have to take my turn with the cub scouts. Ugh. Sorry, judge me if you will, but ugh.) The girls were hoping it would be a boy, so they are ecstatic as well. :)

Now, to my excuses for being MIA for so long.

1. I am still waiting for that burst of energy you are supposed to get around 4 months. I am almost 6 months now, and it hasn't shown up yet. Grrr. After about 1:30, I am pretty much useless. I am amazed I have made dinner as often as I have been. (almost every day!) Although, when I think of what those dinners have been, I feel pretty embarrassed. I have made it to my aerobics and yoga classes without fail, so that is one accomplishment I remind myself of when I look at the pile of ironing that is almost as tall as my 5 year old...

2. It is summer. That means swim lessons, dance lessons, hours and hours at the park, picnics at the Gardens, pony riding at the farm, visits to Grandma and Grandpa's house in ID, spending time with Uncle Russ who just got home from his mission (Yay!!!) and no time to sit on the computer and update my blog. I think this list of activities also contributes to reason #1 for being MIA.

I am trying to be better and update this thing more often, and even post pictures (for grandmas). You gotta have a little compassion for me, though. This little turtle is killing me off...:)