Because he doesn't have a baby book....

E rolled over for the first time today. From front to back. Twice. :)

Forecast: blue skies

....as in baby blue(s).

Disclaimer: I know millions of women have had it way worse than me, but this is what is happening to me, so I'm gonna talk about it (just once, then I won't talk about it again, unless it is to tell you they've gone, and I'm all better).

They've rolled in low and heavy...the dreaded baby blues. Maybe I've always had them, and just haven't noticed because I've felt so yucky with everything else, but they're here now, front and center. Blech. It is that undefinable feeling of being down. No real reason, I just am. I don't want to do anything that I usually like to do (like read. Even my tried and true faves aren't working). I'd rather skip Christmas this year. (My wonderful husband has taken over Christmas--so relatives are getting some strange but thoughtful gifts) I am not very patient with my children (but let's be frank, I was never super mom in that department). I just want to do nothing. but then I hate it, so I go do something, then I don't like that much either. I don't like to be alone, but being around people often feels like too much work. I'm not really sad or miserable or anything, just blah. (think the most beige-y color of beige) It stinks, but I'll get by.

I have been trying to work through it by forcing myself to do things that I usually like. So far the most effective things have been hanging out with my hubby (I swear that man radiates endorphins), visiting with people, exercising, and this blog (I guess it is good for me to get stuff out of my system). I just can't think about doing them too far ahead, or it feels overwhelming. I know it is just hormones--My hair has started to fall out and the acne is absolutely pubescent--I don't know why, but this fact is comforting to me.

Let me be clear: I am okay. I'll take what I've got. I'll take just feeling "low" over the stuff that is much...scarier. So, no need to worry about me, I'll be just fine. I just needed to vent. (also, some understanding and forgiveness for any awkward social interactions...)

Okay, now that that's out of me, on to happier and more fun things! {but thanks for bearing with me}