So, three weeks ago I got the first tan I have ever had in my life. It was spray on.
Let me explain:
I AM SO WHITE.
I have never been tan in my whole entire life. I have never "laid out" or done any other sun-worshipping type activities. I have had some nasty nasty sunburns (part of my misspent youth...) and they resulted in... a few moles that needed to be removed. They sat there mocking me from atop my pasty white skin. My two daughters often look at my arms and exclaim "look how white mom is!!!" As a kid, I was always the cream filling in the middle of my friends' dark tans (we'd make Oreo's with our arms...) I don't know how to make this clearer: I am really really really white.
I always thought it would be so great to be tan. I always felt (just a little) envious when we would visit my Husband's family and they all have this beautiful dark skin...and then I live with my hubby and kids and their beautiful skin. It was so not fair! I thought I would feel prettier, more confident (and maybe even sexier) if I were even just a *little* tan.
So, I took the plunge. With my sis there for moral support (and a tan of her own) I got a spray tan from my friend, who does them out of her home. She did a great job. But I didn't expect what followed.
The first thing my 5 year old said was, "Mommy, you look different and weird. I think you should go and wash that stuff off" to which my 8 yr old heartily agreed. I went to look in the mirror to see what they saw, and I looked fine, but I didn't feel like I was looking at me in the mirror. It was strange to look in the mirror and not feel like myself.
I didn't tell my husband what I did, and when he got home he said, "It looks nice, But I like your white skin" Hmmm. Not what I expected. It was the perfect answer, but it was not what I expected.
I enjoyed my week being tan. I really did. However, I did not feel any prettier than I did before. I didn't feel any more confident. (I felt just as sexy as always.) I guess what I learned from finally getting a tan is that I am okay with my skin. Being (really) white doesn't really bother me anymore. So, let others get a beautiful golden brown every summer. I will apply my SPF 70 and stay under a shade umbrella and stay (really) white. And I won't feel bad about it (anymore). I will no longer be envious.
Well, maybe just a little tiny bit...but not much.
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"It is no small thing to celebrate a simple life." -J.R.R. Tolkien
3 comments:
You have a way with words, that is so witty!
You can be the middle of my oreo any day! The middle is the best part anyways!
Heehee Danny gets many points for liking the natural you. I think your skin is a gorgeous color! At least you are uniformily white. My arms tan so dark if the sun even sneezes on them, but my face doesn't, and my legs won't either. Weird. I'd be fine being either all tan (without skin cancer) or all white. It's funny though, most of the rest of the world sees lighter skin as the most beautiful. How did the US get so messed up? :)
LOL~I am the same way as you white and will always be white!! I love that no one in your family really liked it!! makes me feel better about always being white!!
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